求托福改作文独立写作

显示全部楼层 · 2011-11-9 02:56:05

TPO-1的独立写作题目大概是同不同意学校应该在体育设施和社会交往方面加大投入Sportsandsocialactivitiesshoulddefinitelyberegardedasimportantasclassesandlibrariesandshouldreceiveequalfinancialsupport.Socriticalitisforadiverseanddynamiceducationalinstitutethatwecanhardlyfindreasonsnottooffermoresupportforspotsandsocialactivities.Asdiversityisbecomingamoreindispensablecomponentofuniversitiesandcollege,sportsandsocialactivitiesaremorecrucialpartsofthehigh-qualityeducation.It’shardtojudgeapersonaccordingtowhoseacademicachievement.Nowadays,ahighstandardeducationalinstituteispayingmoreattentiontobringupstudentswithpersonalities,hobbies,andotherimportantcharactersandabilities.Iftheydidn’tseesportsandsocialactivitiesasindispensablecomponents,theywouldbelessattractivetoexcellentstudents.Withoutsportsandsocialactivities,studentsonlycandevotethemselvesinthemonotonousall-daystudyandwillbelackoftheabilitytokeepbalanceofentertainment,study,andsocialcommunication.Thiswillobviouslyleadstoaconsequencethatstudentshavedifficultiestakingcareofthemselvesandmanagingtimeanddailyactivities.Itwillalsodoharmtostudents’health,passion,andcuriosity.Universitiesandcollegesshouldprovidemorefinancialsupporttosportsandsocialactivitiesduetomanystudentsareshortoftheawarenessofthesignificanceoftheextraactivities.Admittedlytheexpenseforclassesandlibrariesarecrucial,butmorefinancialsupportforsportsandsocialactivitiesisalsonecessaryforthereasonthatitwillenhancetheawarenessofstudentstotakepartinmoreactivitiesbesidestostudy.Hardlycanapersonachievealotwithoutagoodhealthandsocialcommunication.Itseemscriticalforuniversitiesandcollegestopublicizethepointofviewtostudents.Ibelievethesituationthatlackingofawarenessofsportsandsocialactivitieswillbeimprovedastheuniversitiesandthecollegesgivemorefinancialaid.Onlyinthisway,canstudentsexperiencethediversecampuscultureandactivities.

千问 · 2011-11-9 02:56:05

1.第一段秀语言是好事，但不必过度，会导致阅卷人阅读困难。建议长短句结合。2.第二段“Asdiversityisbecomingamoreindispensablecomponentofuniversitiesandcollege,sportsandsocialactivitiesaremorecrucialpartsofthehigh-qualityeducation\"\"成为一个更加必不可少的成分”可以，但后面的“more\"翻译不通啊3.第二段”It’shardtojudgeapersonaccordingtowhoseacademicachievement.“这一句从句部分不完整。要么Itishardtojudgeapersonaccordingtohis/heracademicachievement，要么Itishardtojudgeapersonaccordingtowhoseacademicachievementis....第二种说法本身也有问题，“根据的是谁的学业怎么样”翻译不恰当。所以建议你用第一种。4.paymoreattentionto后面要加动名词,这里“to\"是介词。paymoreattentiontobringingup...5.Iftheydidn’tseesportsandsocialactivitiesasindispensablecomponents,theywouldbelessattractivetoexcellentstudents.主语”they\"与前指代的内容单复数不一致。应该是如果学校不把...但你前面提到的学校是单数6.第三段“devote...into...\";belackofability\"of\"keepingbalance\"among\".....;7。第四段第一句\"dueto\"后面是不能跟句子的，用”because“8.Admittedly后面要加逗号9.theexpensefor......\"is\"crucial10.Admittedlytheexpenseforclassesandlibrariesarecrucial,butmorefinancialsupportforsportsandsocialactivitiesisalsonecessaryforthereasonthatitwillenhancetheawarenessofstudentstotakepartinmoreactivitiesbesidestostudy.后面的部分强行使用从句非常糟糕。建议分成几个简单句。Theexpenseforclassesandlibrariesiscrucial.Soisthefinancialsupportforsportsandactivities.Asaresult,besidesstudy,theawarenessoftakingpartinthosesportsandactivitiesenhancealot.11.托福写作的分论点要求观点原因例子。你的分论点互相交织，不清晰。你的文章过分阐述，没有任何细节例证12.托福写作的结尾要求总结分论点期盼。你的重述分论点不完整。13.文中的“more\"用得太多，换别的，如theincreasingnumberof..14.注意段落间的衔接。多用过渡词，如firstandforemost,inaddition,furthermore,whatismore15.文章努力用难句，长句，语法表现出你积极向上的一面，但要基于基础，不要随意造句，生涩的用从句从句的方式。尽量用自己读到过的句子

千问 · 2011-11-9 02:56:05

如果你能花钱改，那建议你到新东方批改网上找外教批改，我在新东方批改网上提交了约10篇作文，三篇口语，质量很好，老师们都很认真，最重要的是，无论我写多么槽糕，都会得到一个鼓励性的评语，还有提高的建议，非常受用。另外印象比较深刻的是，每次老师批改完之后，都会得到邮件提醒，十分人性化。赞同

求托福改作文 独立写作

求托福改作文独立写作