高手们来帮我看看这篇英语故事有没有语法错误

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查看11 | 回复4 | 2012-1-5 04:01:30 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
马上要英语课前演讲了麻烦大家帮我看看这篇短文有没有语法错误有的话麻烦指点一下谢谢Ahedgehoglikedwalkingnexttotheriver.Hewaslonely.Hedidn\'thaveanyfriends.Oneday,hecameacrossafish.Thefishaskedhim,\"Whyareyousoblue?\"\"AmIblue?\"thehedgehogsmiled.Thefishstaredatthehedgehogmildly.Shesaid,\"Letmewarmyouup.\"Thefishandthehedgehogfellinlovewitheachother.Haveyouseentheloveofafishandahedgehog?\"Iwouldliketopluckallthorns,becauseIdidn\'twanttotwingeyouwhenweareembracing.\"saidthehedgehog.\"No!Ican\'tstandyoublooding.Ionlywanttogiveyouhappiness.\"\"Iwouldratherdieforyou.\"Thehedgehogpluckedhisthornsoverandoveragain.Hefeltpainful.Buthethoughtitwasworthdoingthat.Helovedthefishdeeply.However,thefishdidn\'thavefeet,shecouldn\'tleavethewater.Theycouldn\'tembracing.ThefishaskedGod,\"Couldyougivemethefeet?Iwanttostaywithmylover.\"Godsaid,\"Mychild,Iasktheindulgenceofyou.Youdidn\'thavefeetwhenyouwasborn.\"Thefishsaid,\"Ismylovewrong?\"\"Loveisnotwrong.\"saidGod.\"WhatshouldIdotogivemyloverhappiness?\"\"Pleaseturnback.\"Thefishleaved.Shedisappearedinhedgehog\'seyes.ThehedgehogaskedGod,\"God!Doesfishhavetears?\"\"Yes.Hertearsfallintothewater.\"\"Whatislove?God.\"\"Someloveneedsgivingup.\"
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千问 | 2012-1-5 04:01:30 | 显示全部楼层
Ahedgehoglikedwalkingnexttotheriver这个可以简单点,Ahedgehogwalkedbytheriver.hecameacrossafish.改成heencounterafish,或者,hemetafish.blue,改成sad,blue有忧郁的意思,但这里不合适。blooding,应该是bleeding,bleed,动词,流血。theycouldn\'tembracing,应该是embrace.情态动词后面跟原形。Ican\'tstandyoublooding.Ionlywanttogiveyouhappiness.\"要简单点,改成:Iwanttomakeyouhappy,notbleeding.你想表达不能忍受,stand听起来有点变味了,好像嫌弃一样。whenyouwasborn,was改为were.someloveneedstobegivenup.被动。indulgence是纵容。Iasktheindulgenceofyou.,你的意思应该是,希望你原谅我?是吧,或者这样讲:“forgiveme(Iamsosorry或者这样简单一点就可以了),mychild,butyouwerebornwithoutleg.”是个很好的故事,但是有些表达好像不太合英语的习惯,其实尽量简单就好了,听众也省力。不过没有关系啦,演讲的话,当时的发音和情感,比一些不太明显的语法错误重要得多。反正这个故事我看得明白,以上指出几点,希望帮到你,祝你成功!
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千问 | 2012-1-5 04:01:30 | 显示全部楼层
Ahedgehoglikedwalkingnexttotheriver.Hewaslonely.Hedidn\'thaveanyfriends.Oneday,hecameacrossafish.===(简洁式)Alonelyhedgehogwasnexttotheriverwhencameacrossafish.Ican\'tstandyoublooding.blooding=bleedingdisappearedinhedgehog\'seyes.=disappearedinthehedgehog\'seyes.\"Pleaseturnback.\"==Pleaseleavehimalone.turnback=向后转;leavehimalone=离开他赞同
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千问 | 2012-1-5 04:01:30 | 显示全部楼层
可以用易改试试智能地进行英语文本纠错(拼写、语法、样式和句子不完整)百度下易改就有了赞同
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千问 | 2012-1-5 04:01:30 | 显示全部楼层
verygood,youareEnglishgenius赞同
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