写了一篇小短文，是关于金在中的。 英文。 老师布置的。 发出来 希望英语很好的帮忙改改。看看有没有什么语法错误。最好加点定语从句什么的。。谢谢啦~~~~
HERO is man.The real man.
He is born in seoul,south korea 1986.He is a singer,my favorite singer.
When he was 17.he has his debut as TVXQ member until 2009.
Now he is JYJ member.He is brave and persistence.He has beautiful voice.
I so love HERO that I can't stop to pay close attention to them.
Love him and love him in the band whatever TVXQ or JYJ.
大体修改如下，后面附修改完整的段落。HERO is a(加定冠词，意为：他是一个男人/他很男人) man, the real man.At the same time,he is a singer,my favorite singer.He is（改为was，过去式） born in Seoul,South Korea（地名，大写 ）（加in，构成时间状语 ）1986..When he was 17，he has（had） his debut as TVXQ member（a member of TVXQ较好） until(改为in，表示过去式，你用的until有“直到”的意思) 2009.（整句也可改为：It was in 2...
