一篇英语作文求修改。

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查看11 | 回复2 | 2009-7-20 08:56:26 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
title:
Bad Effects on Children of Films
body:
Apparently, the film has become a HUGER industry than ever before. One proof is the number of films made every year is increasingly rising. However, along with its' development, there showed up many criticism for it to face.
As to make the films more attractive, directors today use lots of extra special effects, some of which are OK for adults but not good for children. In general, it is the violent and horrible scenes in the films that have caused people concerns. People, especially parents are worrying that those scenes will have bad influences on their children's growing. Due to children's purity and lack of the ability of telling right from wrong, they could easily tend to imitate the violent and horrible actions they see in the films, which will possibly lead violent characters and bad tempers to grow in their personalities.
The way to solve this serious issue needs cooperation among schools and parents. For instance, we should recommend more positive and instructive movies to our children to watch. To set a new film classification rule may be another good solution that can help.

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千问 | 2009-7-20 08:56:26 | 显示全部楼层
楼主的原文是篇优秀的文章,大学水平。现提点拙见,供你参考Apparently, the film has become a bigger(抽象性的“大”,用big) industry than ever before. One proof is the number of films made every year is rapidly(increasingly本身已有增长之意,与后面的rising重复,建议改为rapidly) rising. However, along with its' development, it causes some big problems(there showed up many criticism for it...
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千问 | 2009-7-20 08:56:26 | 显示全部楼层
只是改了最基本的语法错误, 意思,句型,和结构没变title: Negative Effects of Films on Children body:Apparently, the film has become a BIGGER industry than ever before. One proof is that the num...
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