哪位高手能帮我改一下这篇英文~~感激不尽~

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查看11 | 回复1 | 2009-4-23 15:49:15 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Dear Addimissions Officer
Hello! My name is XXX, I was born in XX,XX province, due to outstanding achievements I admitted to the the XX College in 2003, during the school time i studied hard and performance seriously,and also i actively participated in social practice, having scholarships many times. Years of university life has given me enough time to let me learn a lot of useful knowledge. I became a volunteer of XX Company in 2005, mainly responsible for the design and maintenance, during the service time, i completed the company's task successfully,After graduation in 2006,i joined the XXCompany , it founded in 1974, is the first professional manufacturer of disposable medical instrument in China . It is a modern high-tech enterprise of large-scale in domestic blood transfusion technique filed integrating development, production and sales of medical apparatus and supporting instruments. this is a large enterprise, which employs nearly 500 people.I started from the sales and technicians, half a year later i was promoted as a result of outstanding sales manager,and was responsible for the market in East China area. In the new position I have to due diligence and efficient work, to create a huge profit to the company while also making myself eligible to become a sales manager. But as the years of economic development, China is becoming increasingly international, Chinese enterprises have also begun to take a path of internationalization, which requires as a necessary for the company's sales manager of a international quality, I feel There are many things that I need to learn, so I sincerely hope you can accept my application, I really want to study in XX university and complete the MBA Program.
中文要表达的意识是这样的
您好~我叫xx,我出生在XX,2003年我以优异的成绩考入ABC大学,在校期间学习认真刻苦表现突出,并积极参加社会实践活动,曾多次获得学校奖学金。几年的大学生活给了我充足的时间让我学到了很多有用的知识。2005年我成为XXX公司的义工,主要负责该公司产品的设计和维护,在职期间圆满完成了公司交予的任务,2006毕业后便加入ABC公司,这是一家大型企业,拥有员工近500人,主要生产XXX,我从销售兼技术员做起,半年后由于业绩突出被提升为销售主管,负责华东区市场。在新的工作岗位上我始终努力,尽职,高效的工作,给公司创造巨大利润的同时也使得自己成为了一名合格的销售主管。但是随着这些年来经济的发展,中国变得越来越国际化,中国的企业也纷纷开始走国际化得道路,这就要求作为一名公司的销售主管必需具备国际化的素质,我感觉到自己还有很多的东西要学习,所以我诚心的希望您能接受我的申请,让我在贵校完成XXX课程~~

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千问 | 2009-4-23 15:49:15 | 显示全部楼层
Dear Admission Officers: Hello! My name is XXX; I was born in XX, XX province, due to the outstanding achievements I admitted to the XX University in 2003. During the school years I learned a lot; have good performance and participated in social practices, also getting scholarships many times. The time that I spent in school g...
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