帮我看一下这篇初一的英语作文有什么问题

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查看11 | 回复1 | 2009-8-13 09:01:51 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
SwimmingYearstoday was very hot .The temperature reached 39.7℃. I could stand it,so I went to a swimming pool with my friends---Ted,Mike and Jake.We all thought swimming could make us stay healthy.I loved swimming,because while I stayed in the water.I could feel cool.The day,I and my friends played water.I defeated Ted and Mike,but Jake defeated me.I thought playing water was interesting and exerciting.We had fun inthe water!total solar eclipseJuly 22rd,2009 was a especial date.It had a total eclipse of the sun! This time the total eclipse of the sun is the longest in a century.If you were in Hangzhou,you could see it,many people went to the best place---Tianhuangping.I thought the total eclipse of the sun was very grand.I wanted to see it,but that day,I had a English lesson.I had to watch TV for seeing it.
I felt sorry for myself
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千问 | 2009-8-13 09:01:51 | 显示全部楼层
第一句应该是It's very hot yestoday.你几乎是中文式英语啊!“so I went to a swimming pool with my friends---Ted,Mike and Jake.”很夸张啊!应该是so I went to swimming with my friends,there're Ted,Mike and Jack.额..改不下去了
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