第二段第三个单词it去掉，后置定语不用宾语；第三段第五个单词，the去掉，直接用second;整个句子这样写：second,some students are always playing games and even listening to the music contained in the mobiles which is severely affecting their studying efficiency.紧接着是last but not least，而不用the;最后一句：in my opinion,cell phone is a fantastic tool when we're using it properly and correctly.After all,we cannot imagine a world without cellphone these days.blog.sina.com.cn/yangliang1218
