ONLY A FEW WORDS At a court the judge is interrogating a mugger but gets into difficulty because the mugger is a foreigner who doesn't speak English. Don't you speak English at all? the judge asks. Only a few words, replies the mugger. What words do you know? Your purse or your life! 几个英语词 法庭上法官正审问一个抢劫犯，由于该犯是一个不会说英语的外国人，审问很困难。你一点英语都不会说吗？法官问。我只会说几个词。抢劫犯回答。 你会说哪几个词？ 你是要钱还 回答者： 八卦老薛 - 二级 2009-10-4 18:27 37．和母亲一样的女孩 无论带哪一个女孩回家，这位青年人总会遭到母亲的反对。一位朋友劝他说： “找一个和你母亲一样的女孩——那她一定会喜欢她。” 于是这位青年人不停地找啊找，终于找到了这么个女孩。 他对他友好的忠告者说： “正像你说的那样，我找到一个长相、谈吐、穿着打扮，甚至连烹饪都和我母亲一样的女孩。也正像你说的那样，我母亲喜欢她。” “那后来呢？”朋友问。 “没什么，”青年人说。“我父亲讨厌她！” What Is a Traitor？ Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics？” Father（a veteran politician）：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one．” Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours？” Father：“A convert，my son．” 回答者： 88星辰88 - 一级 2009-10-4 20:51 The Perfect Son. A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he drink whiskey? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he ever come home late? A: No, he doesn't. B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. 完美儿子 A:我有一个很完美的儿子. B:他抽烟吗? A:不抽. B:他喝威士忌酒吗? A:不喝. B:他会不会很晚回家? A:不会. B:我想你确实有一个完美儿子. 那他多大了? A:下个星期三就满6个月了. 回答者： 傻傻DE天空 - 一级 2009-10-5 16:22 1.Time Is Money As the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light，I asked the driver,“Do you agree that 'Time is money'?”“Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?”the driver answered.“Look, the digits in the meter are still running when the car has stopped,”I pointed at the meter.“Oh, yes. You've got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us,”added the driver. 时间就是金钱出租车在尖锐刺耳的刹车声中停在交通灯前，我问司机：“你同意‘时间就是金钱’这个说法吗？”“怎么说好呢，大家都这么说。管它呢！”司机回答说。“你看，车都停了，可你计程器上的数字还在变。”我指着计程器说。“哦，对，你说得对。在这种情况下，对你我来说时间就是金钱。”司机补充道。
2.UnfairThe Smithsons went away for their summer vacation and gave Jane, the maid, a month's wages, then sent her on her way rejoicing.On their return four weeks later, Jane demanded higher wages or no work.Mrs. Smithson was horrified. "Gracious! " she exclaimed. "You've just had a vacation for a whole month with full pay! You should consider yourself very fortunate. ""That's just it, "replied Jane, "you paid me that money for doing nothing, so it isn't fair to expect me to do all this work now for the same wages. "不公平史密森全家外出度假，发给女佣简一个月的工资，然后打发她消遥去了。过了四周他们回来后，简要求加薪，否则就不干了。史密森夫人惊呆了。“天哪！”她嚷道。“你刚刚带薪休了一整月的假！你应该觉得自己很幸运。”“对呀，”简答道，“我什么都不干你都给我那么多钱，而现在让我做这么多事才拿同样的工资，未免不大公平。”
213.All The Detailsone woman to another, "I won't go into all the details ; in fact, I've already told you more about it than I heard myself. "全部细节一名妇女对另一个说道：“我不再细说了；其实，我告诉你的已经比我听到的还多了。”
223.Missed NothingOverheard at the ball game:"What inning is it? ""It's the top of the fourth. ""What's the score? ""Nothing to nothing. ""Oh, goody, goody! We haven't missed anything. "什么都没有错过在一场球赛时听到的：“第几局了？”“第四局的上半场。”“比分怎么样？”“零比零。”“哦，太好了！我们什么都没有错过！”
226.Smart DadThe Junior Murray had become involved in a financial tangle. In a moment of weakness he had loaned a friend $500 in cash without a written note, or even a receipt, indicating the amount loaned. In the meantime the young man had found he needed his money. In desperation, he consulted his father.After a moment of consideration, the father said, "Oh, that's easy, son. Write him and say you need the $1,000 you loaned him. "Young Murray said, "You mean $500? ""That I do not, " said the father. "You say $1,000, and he will write back that he owes you only $500. Then you will have it in writing."精明的义亲小默里陷入了一桩钱财纠葛。当时一犹豫，在借给一个朋友500美元现金时，没有留下书面记录，甚至没有收据可以表明所借款额。与此同时，年轻人发觉自己需要这笔钱。他无计可施，于是向自己的父亲求教。考虑了一会儿，父亲说道：“哦，很容易，儿子。给他写封信，就说你等着用借给他的1000美元。”小默里说：“您是说500美元？”“不是500美元，”父亲说，“你说1000美元，他会回信说只欠你500美元，这样你就有了书面证明了。”
264.half TimeA mother was talking to her little boy. "Now, Billy, you shouldn't be selfish with your toys. I've told you to let your younger brother play with them half the time. ""That's what I've been doing, " said Billy. "I take the sled going downhill, and he takes it going up. "一半时间妈妈对小男孩说：“比利，对自己的玩具不要小气。我告诉过你要让弟弟玩一半时间。”“我是这样的，”比利说，“我坐雪橇下山，他把它提上山。”____________我挑了好久的…… 回答者： 757148657 - 三级 2009-10-7 20:35 I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？” “没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。” “I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？ 约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.". 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？” “我来试试看，”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。” 参考资料： http://learning.sohu.com/yingyuyoumo.shtml 回答者： 袁俊骐 - 四级 2009-10-10 22:32 Father:do you know?Today is a great occasion of nation stanza, the anti- day is also successful! Son:??Great occasion of nation stanza?Is just Chinese? Father:do you guess a foreign country to have? Son:this I also don't know, affirming is "the country is disgusted with stanza"! Father:...... 爸爸:你知道吗?今天是国庆节,抗日也成功啦! 儿子:??国庆节?只是中国的吗? 爸爸:你猜猜外国有没有? 儿子:这我还不知道,肯定是\"国厌节\"啦! 爸爸:...... 回答者： 星河守望者 - 三级 2009-10-11 15:10 Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered. “You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” 8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?” “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan. “Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother. “I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.” 他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。” 9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 |
